...and I'm pretty sure I hate the changes, at least some of them. To summerize: I told my English prof (who was also my advisor and the Dean of the college I was attending) to kiss my ass for various reasons, and so quit college. In March. Yeah.... So, I was working full time, had my bf, and pretty much everything was good right? Not so much. In fact, everything ws pretty much craptastic, and has stayed that way. The boyfriend, who I'm still in love with and who was my best friend and lover for two and a half years, simply refused to grow up. I knew he wasn't ready to be an adult, and that he couldn't provide a life for me. I asked him once if he'd stand by me if I got pregnant with his child, and he said "I don't know, but probably not. I don't want kids." NOw, neither do I, but if I had one, I'd stand by it. I realized I wasn't happy with him, but I also wasn't comfy asking him to change who he was, so...we parted ways. He seemed sad for a little while, but come to find out, he has a new gf now. Less than two months after we split, with him telling me he'd always love me. Yeah... Oh, and I haven't even gotten to the best part yet. I found out about pretty, thin, just-like-him-except-a-girl Shelby by reading a comment on his MySpace page that said, "Hi lover, just wanted to say I love the way your dick tastes." yeeeaaahhh. . . Needless to say, I was pissed and hurt. So I ask him about it. He shrugs it off, like it shouldn't matter. So here I am, thinking he never loved me to begin with, and why the hell did i give two and a half years to this ungrateful childish bastard, when he pops out with this little gem of insight: "You never loved me anyway, you used me for my looks, so I got over you." o_0 Really? Really. Yes, he actually said that to me. Then, he starts talking about what he's going to name their children... So, yea, my last few months have not especially been good ones. On the bright side, I've moved out of my parents' house (yay for first apartments!!!), and I'm doing fairly well. Not as well as I'd like, but well enough. As soon as I find my camera cord, I'm going to up load the pictures of some of the jewelry I've made. It's actually pretty damn nice, some of it. It's my favorite hobby, after reading. For now, though, I have to figure out what I really want from life. Do I want another boyfriend, someone who will fuck me up like Chris did? Or do I even want to think about that right now? No, I'm pretty sure I don't. I'm going to just float along for right now, and let this particular current I'm on send me somewhere new, and maybe even someone new. For once, though, I'm not going to try to control where I go. Chao.